1. |
always torn
03:26
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i've been missing you like crazy
i've been missing you like home
but all the while i know
i can't go run to you
i've been missing you like water
and i'm thirsty as it gets
but all the while i'm off by myself
i crave you like the mountains
and i love you like a storm
but the moment that i see you
i'm always torn
i've been walking by myself now
and it's easier alone
but you'll be there in brooklyn
you're always home
so i'm roaming through the desert
i got my shoes, i got my stash
but you'll be there in brooklyn
forgetting my ass
i crave you like the mountains
and i love you like a storm
but the moment that i see you
i'm always torn
so you're all the way in brooklyn
but most days it's too close
cuz i can always take the g train
and be on the road
and i remember how your block feels
and my footsteps on your stairs
well if only i could kiss you
if i could hold you one more time
if only i could see you and you be mine
well not this time
so i remember how your block feels
and my footsteps on your stairs
but every time i get there
i disappear
i crave you like the mountains
and i love you like a storm
but the moment that i see you
i'm always torn
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2. |
road again
05:01
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oh pretty love
please stay with me
tender love
please don't you leave me
i can't bare the thought of being alone
i can't, i can't bare the thought
oh, sugar love
please stay with me
oh my darling love
please don't you leave me
ah, you're trailing to that far away place
and i can't, i can't bare the thought
well i've been here all alone
and i know where this goes
well i've been here years ago
but now we'll both walk the road again
oh listen here
i'm clinging so hard
to the souls of your shoe
don't leave the backyard
well, i'm staying in the city i love
but i still, i can't bare the thought
well i've been here all alone
and i know where this goes
well i've been here years ago
but now we'll both walk the road again
oh, but all the summer rain
and all that the fall is about to bring
you're driving away
better me than you
well i've been here all alone
and i know where this goes
well i've been here years ago
but now we'll both walk the road again
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3. |
not even noon
03:13
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remember you too late
and your hands on my face
remember you too late
and your hands on my waist
remember you too soon
and i'm over the moon
remember you too soon
and it's not even noon
oh, i miss you so much sometimes
i forget why we broke up
oh, i miss you so much sometimes
i forget that you broke my trust
i miss you so much sometimes
i forget that you broke my heart
i miss you so too much sometimes
and i miss, i miss your touch
well it's not even noon
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4. |
blue satin
04:20
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the first night i kissed you, i laughed
like it was funny that someone like you was kissing someone like me
and it's still funny when i think about it
two years after the fact
and september nights
back when we could see the stars
you couldn't say i love you
so i just let you say yes
you couldn't tell me how you felt
so i let you tell me in colors
blue satin
blue satin
you couldn't hold my hand outside
the world was scary, staring at us
i tried to hold you down but instead i held you in
you were trapped inside something you thought you wanted
and i was trapped above
trying to love you as best i could
blue satin
you loved me like blue satin
purple velvet, psyllium husks, and your eyes in the middle of the night
trying to love you from the angles i couldn't even reach
hold you while you cry for the first time in 5 years
walking you home, tucking you in, and still not being enough
blue satin
i loved you like blue satin
but you couldn't see
the love i had in me
stored up for you like a reservoir
but you couldn't tell me
past the fabric in your hands
but you couldn't hold me
in another shade of blue
so i lost you
i lost you like
blue satin
blue satin
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5. |
couldn't resist you
03:08
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couldn't resist you
couldn't resist your eyes
the moment that you sang
you took me by surprise
couldn't resist you
couldn't resist your mouth
stepping into your room
and i couldn't get out
it's so hard to resist you
all the way over there
and even when i know it's wrong
i'm over here, writing a song for you
for you
i'm singing oh, oh, oh
took me so long to see you
i had my blinders up
and even now when i say your name
it feels familiar
like i knew you long ago
not sure why i need you
even when i can't
i'm in another borough
whispering your name
saying it across the island
the island
i'm singing oh, oh, oh
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6. |
poison ivy
02:28
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skin turning inside out
i'm left here by myself
it's poison ivy
my skin's an open wound
oh, take me back to june
before poison ivy
poison ivy
my skin goes brown to red
and i crave you in my bed
chests pressed against the other
can't go over, so i go under
poison ivy
poison ivy
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7. |
23
03:54
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well i'm 23
and i thought i'd die years ago
wanna talk to a younger me
cuz i know he felt so alone
well i've traveled far
from the moment i changed my name
well i was born at 18
but stuck at an age i wasn't supposed to be
oh, 23
well i had a dream
on my death bed, at the end of my life
i saw it stretched in front of me
flat chest, hands held
they held me tight
well have you ever cried
in the middle of the night, let the kid in you rise
cuz my body's aching
from all the scars i bear
they're strapped to my sides
well i've traveled far
from the moment i changed my name
i was born at 18
but stuck at an age i wasn't supposed to be
well i wonder what it'd look like
if i never cut my hair
well i wonder what i'd feel like
if i never met the girl of my past
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8. |
blurred vision (2012)
02:49
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piercing eye contact with strangers
puking in parking lots in the morning
sweating into measuring cups
capturing the day
passing through stoplights nonexistent
my blurred vision is back
and i need you
kicking rocks past roads i've never passed
holding doors open for people who will never come
my blurred vision is back
and i need you
my blurred sensed are back
i still need you
my blurred vision is back
and i need you
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9. |
take it all back
03:45
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when we met, i knew
something i didn't want to know
that you could only hold me for so long
that you could never hold me up
and the night when we were laying in bed
and you told me you'd want me forever
i knew there was an emptiness, a wish you couldn't reach
i knew there was desire,
but we could never get there
i wanted you like morning
your skin became my moonlight
i wanted you so desperately
i ignored every single sign
i wanted you so i didn't want to know
you needed me
and i still want to take it all back
take it all back, baby
just want you to come back
take it all back
take it back
just want you to come back
the red poured out from under me
but kissing you felt like magic
and i'd shake just at the thought of you
just you across the room
looking at me the way you did
like i taught you what love is
and i miss this feeling more and more
the more you begin to fade
take it all back
take it back
just want you to come back
take it all back, take it back
still want you to come back
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Sam Davis New York, New York
trans masc singer/songwriter. 25. western MA/NYC.
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